I did five chapters in a week. What's wrong with me?
I'll tell you what's wrong, I care, dammit. I care too damn much.
I've been working on this story since August of 2009, and I'm finally seeing an end in sight to the second installment of four. Like, I don't know how to express how great that makes me feel. 308,716 words, 85 chapters, 6 years worth of effort. And the part that excites me the most, but also scares me the most, is that...this is basically the halfway point for Map of the Problematique as a whole. There are 22 more chapters left in Dreams of an Absolution, I'm envisioning 30, roughly, for Never Turn Back, around 15 for the mini-story "Adventures in Minioning" that will sort of introduce Never Turn Back, and I can't imagine more than 20 chapters in the final installment, which is tentatively called "My Destiny."
Like, damn. When I started writing Endless Possibilities, it was just as a gift, for a crack pairing. It was supposed to end at chapter 18, with Blossom and Aku simply coming to a truce and deciding to be frenemies. There was no illness, no Devil Blossom, no Demongo, no Chamberlain, no Great Old Ones, no Dexter, just...it was simple and clean and sweet. It was supposed to be a feel good story about a little girl's first crush. Now, it's something so much more. Now the crack pairing is my One True Pairing. This ship has taken over my thoughts so much, I don't have other ships for Blossom anymore. It actually irritates me seeing her with anyone else. I can't describe it. Now it's a journey of self discovery, of love and betrayal, a big...adventure.
It's Blossom's journey from hero to villain, from citizen to sovereign, from little girl to goddess. And maybe, yeah maybe it's running too long. Maybe I don't need 150 chapters to tell the story, but it's not an easy transition. There are times, still to this moment, when I think that Dreams of an Absolution is ruining what I wanted Map of the Problematique to be. I'll readily admit, the early chapters were a lot of fluff and fanservice. I distinctly recall telling Taylor I was going to write a scene for every AkuBloss picture she's ever drawn.
But, when I feel my worst, I go back and read it and I just know it was worth it. It's been worth 57 chapters, it's worth another 22, to show just how far Blossom has to fall to become who she'll be in Never Turn Back. And its an even longer tale to show how she becomes who she'll be in the end. Not just a Goddess of Death, a villain, or queen, but a sister, a mother, a wife, someone who has all the power in the world and has still lost everything, and struggled against the will of the universe itself to finally find her true happy ending.
And I'm excited to be telling that story, I'm excited that everyone who is following along, new readers and old, are finally getting to see what I've envisioned for so long. I don't know, I just feel fulfilled in a way that I haven't in so long. Does that seem arrogant?
I don't know, but I won't apologize for it. I've finally found a spark that's been missing for about four years now, and I'm going to ride it until it's ash in my hands. I hope you'll all be there with me, either following along, or just reading this journal and knowing that I'm finally feeling okay.
And that's...like, damn.
Listening to: Hatsune Miku - Project Diva Soundtrack
Playing: Heroes of the Storm